I thought that today would be a good day for a personal day. A little bit of soul searching and personal enhancement is always beneficial to any kind of journey one may be venturing on. I was planning on going to the gym today, I really was. But I just wasn't feeling like it. It seemed so guilty of me to be thinking of myself at the time but, I really didn't want to go out to the car, brush off that damn snow, and drive the slippery and snow filled streets to the gym. I then thought, you know what, if I get into an accident, whether it is my fault or not, I still wouldn't be going to the gym. I know that I am a careful driver and it's not that far to go, but, there still is the chance that something could happen. And I refuse to do it. So, I opted to stay home and do my stretches, ab crunches, the plank, and just reflect on what I have done so far in the last 7 months.
It's so amazing that I keep feeling better and better every day. I feel like I can move more fluidly, I can stand on my feet better, and my back is starting to get better. Partly yes this has to do with the recent job change. And quite honestly, that is the biggest thing that amazes me. I always saw myself as going up in the restaurant business, maybe getting to a district manager or something. But I think deep down I was always afraid I just couldn't do it. There is alot of responsibility there. I am sure I will be successful in my new career choice.
A year ago today, I look back and see myself still working at McDonald's, getting home and walking around with a cane because I was in such severe pain I couldn't barely move with any assistance of any kind. I was also taking pain killers to help with the pain, because it was so unbearable.
I was looking through many of the blogs from the beginning a couple of days ago. I remember the first session that I had with Jeremy and how he had me on the treadmill on a 1.4 speed and 0 incline and I thought that I was going to die. I couldn't breathe, my legs felt like they were going to fall off, and I couldn't let go of the handles for more than a second. Today, I still have to hold onto the handles due to the fact that I lose my balance very easily, but, I can go a whole hour on that treadmill at speeds up to 3.7 and inclines up to 9 and sometimes 12. What a vast improvement in the last 7 months.
Also a year ago, I would have never believed in myself to be able to accomplish what I have so far. I am very proud of what I have done, and way happier with my life as a result of it. I know that I still have a ways to go and I am going to continue on with this journey and hopefully fulfill many more dreams and goals that I can give to myself.
Today I woke up at 8:00 am and I took about 15 min to actually crawl out of bed. I was so nice and cozy warm, and with the crappy weather outside, I knew that I just didn't want to be a part of it today. However, I got up, went downstairs, and turned on the wii for the weigh in. I was really hoping to get under 200 lbs this week, but, unfortunately, it didn't quite happen. It was very close, as I weighed in at 201.5. Next week I am going to be under the 200lb mark finally. It has been a long time, many years since I have been at that weight and I am very anxious to get there. At the rate I am going, I will be well under my goal for July which is very exciting, but yet, very scary as well.
I think that alot of the reason why I had put on the weight was sort of a wall that I put up so that I wouldn't let people get close to me. If I put up walls, I would be able to keep people at a distance that I am comfortable with and they can't hurt me. Now I am slowly starting to bring these walls down, because I think it's important for people to know who I am and how much I do care about the world and how dedicated I am to making a change in how I have chosen to live my life and contribute to every day situations.
So to date, I am very proud to say, that I have lost a total of 62.5 lbs, and I am loving what life has brought in my path so far. It's been uphill and downhill for so long, but now the road is starting to straighten out for me and I am just going to keep travelling down it. Once again, thank you to all of you that have shown your support and giving me the motivation to keep going. All of your kind comments are always read, and even though I do not reply, I do take them to heart. I love you all!
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