Day 200

Today I have been feeling alot better than I have in the last week.  I am still sick, and therefore, Friday I had cancelled my session with Jeremy for today.  I thought that maybe, just maybe I would be able to get myself into the gym and get some kind of a workout in.  It turns out that it didn't happen at all.  I am still very much sick, although I do have most of my voice back and I am feeling better other than the coughing, I decided to keep my promise to myself and not push it.

I haven't been too faithful with the stretching either.  When you are trying to stretch and break out in a coughing fit, it kind of defeats the purpose.  So, stretching has not been done either.  I spent most of the day at home, relaxing in my chair, or up in my room, and later on in the evening I gave Sara a ride home from work.  All in all, it was a satisfactory day off even though the gym was not involved in it.

I have been doing alot of thinking lately.  Mainly I have been doing some thinking about some life choices that I have to make.  Not because I want to, but because I have to.  I will go further into detail about that when I have more answers myself.  Also, while I have been off from the gym for almost a week due to being sick, I have felt really upset and disappointed in myself.  I know that I can't help being sick, but at the same time, I pushed myself too hard from the sickness the week before and that is why I wound up being worse this time around.  I am frustrated in myself because I let it happen and didn't take care of myself the way that I should have and now that is 2 weeks that I need to make up in order to win that contest and I am not sure if I can now or not.

I am not giving up though, I am sure going to try and hopefully it will work.  I am trying to stay on the positive side of life and it is really hard to do lately.  Hopefully I will get back into the swing of things soon as I have been slipping a little bit lately.  Even though I have been slipping though, I have managed to maintain my current weight loss, so I must be doing something right. :)

I talked to my dad's girlfriend Christine tonight, and that is what set me off on this blog entry.  I really miss my dad alot.  I know that some would wonder why I do, and I honestly really don't care what they think.  He is my father and I love him.  He has been especially supportive in this weight loss more than I can say he has ever been in my whole life.  I really wish that I hadn't been so stupid and lost that bloody car of mine but, it is a lesson learned and I guess I have to work that much harder to get another one.  I asked Jeremy for some information about where he had purchased his vehicle and he said for me to go to the same dealership that he went to as he has a friend that works there and if I give his friend Jeremy's name, I should be able to get a deal.  I am not sure if I will go that route, but I still have a month or two to decide.  All I know is that it is killing me to not be able to see my family when I want, especially those that are further away, just because of the fact that I haven't seen them in so long.

Anyways, I still have my head held high, I am very grateful to have those around me that are close by and constantly helping to keep me motivated and I am also grateful to just be alive and able to move, even if it does hurt.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I do have to get myself into the gym.  I will not be doing any high intensity stuff tomorrow, just some low intensity to say that I have done something.  Maybe I will try a little bit of weight lifting tomorrow, or do an easy setting on the eliptical for awhile in the ladies only room. I guess I will have to see how I feel in the morning.