Day 46

It's not a good today at all.  I woke up feeling a little on the bummed out side and it's kind of sticking with me today.  I'm not feeling the motivation, I'm not feeling the support, and I just plain don't feel happy today.  I've been doing a lot of thinking in my workouts lately and although I won't disclose particulars here, I know what the problems are and I am in need of discussing them with the respected people that I have issues with.  These specific people should not be surprised when I do approach them, and not feel defensive, it's how I feel and I just want to let them know the effect that they have on me.

Moving on to my session with Jeremy, we tend to talk a lot lately and I am really thankful because I can talk to him about certain things and he basically just listens and offers advice if he has any.  He asked me today why I was feeling frustrated and I told him flat out that the support system that I thought I had, I really don't have.  He then told me that I was not doing this for anyone but myself and that I should be happy with myself because I have come such a long way from where we started. 

Throughout the whole session we did muscle endurance, I had to basically do all forms of bench pressing from holding my arms out to the sides and pulling the bars to the front 35 times, sumo squats 15 times, bicep curlups 25 times, and then sitting on a machine and with my elbows bent, push forward on the bars 35 times.  I had to do three reps of each and then we went to the stairs and did 35 calf stretches on tip toes and then each foot pushed down for a min on each.  Once done we went upstairs and did the hamstring stretch, stretched the glutes and then the flexibility machine.

Jeremy was actually pretty good today, very positive as usual and quite funny.  He told me how impressed he was with me and that apparently I knew how to get to his heart.  :)  Obviously he really appreciated the tim horton's gift card I gave him on the last session and he's put that to good use.  My homework for the next few days is to do an hour and a half of cardio, and stretches every day until Monday at 11am.

Hopefully within the next few days I will be able to sort out my issues with myself and to speak to those that I need to about what is bothering me.  Thanks to those who have chosen to read this rant and rave.